The younger generation says the older generation is out of touch. The older generation thinks the younger generation is out of touch. Neither side has a concept of understanding the other.
What needs to be understood is “out of touch” is not the issue. “Facts” can be presented to confuse and manipulate. What was learned yesterday is proven wrong today. What is learned today is proven wrong tomorrow. What is learned tomorrow will be proven wrong the day after that. Some ideas and concepts will stick. Some will lead to new ideas. Some will be the next big idea that leads to the next big thing. Facts are only facts, until they are no longer facts.
I was talking with my father about an issue with my daughter’s mom. I was frustrated about a situation. Me: “If she’s going to do “x”, then I might as well not worry about being COVID safe and do the same thing she is.” My father: “You do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.” Me: “Oh. Yeah. Darn it (only I didn’t say darn it. I said the mother of all curse words).”
After that conversation there was some thinking on what is the “right thing.” Justification for our actions should be considered our “6th sense”. No one is the villain in their own story.
My daughter’s mom and I would argue over whether sugar was bad for our daugther. We would argue about sleep. We would argue over this and that and that and this. Those arguments would lead to me showing her where these “facts” came from, she would say, “You have no instincts about being a parent.”
Who was right and who was wrong? A horrible decade and a crappy divorce later? Our daugther lost. Where is the right or wrong in that?
It is ego that blinds us from admitting right or wrong. I am an atheist. There are estimated to be over 4,000 different religions in the world (How Many Religions Are There in the World? (learnreligions.com)). That is one reason to be atheist. Kind of arrogant for any one person or group of people to think they are the 1 in 4,000 to get it right. That includes being atheist (but that is another conversation).
The point is we plant flags in the ground. Then we fight for our flag. Being told that flag and that fight are wrong? Good luck. Millions of years of evolution will choose fighting over that flag, regardless of right or wrong. In this world, we fail time and again to find compromise. There are an estimated 13 million children hungry in America right now and we cannot agree on a government program to help feed them (Hunger in America | Feeding America).
Each one of us has at least one “thing” we will not back down from (I have several. Join me, won’t you?). If all the world is wrong, then what is the point? If everyone has at last one thing they will not back down from, that is a potential for 7.9 billion things. That is a lot of things we are all willing to fight for. It could get messy.
This post is coming to an end. Now is the time to write an inspiring conclusion. A good ending would be to bring it back to the words of my father. Yet, every time those words and that ending try to get written, this thought blocks them, “there is someone out there that thinks their ‘right thing’ is hurting someone, or hating someone, or judging someone”. It is great to think “do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do”, but to many think their wrong is right. It is hard to battle cry for “right” when “right” is defined by the individual and some individuals are asshats (spell check says this word might be offense to you. Apologies if that is the case).
So, then what? What is next? What is the right thing to do? How is this post going to end if the ending planned does not work?
You. If you are not one of the asshats, do any one positive/kind/thoughtful/empathic thing. Do not think big. Do not look at all the people in the world. Instead, look at the one in front of you. Ask your child’s teacher if there is a kid in her class that cannot afford a book. Get him or her a couple. Ask if she knows any kids that are not getting enough to eat. Get a gift card the teacher can give them (parents too proud, they won a contest). Call a local principal and tell them you have 30 copies of *blank* showing up and to see that they get randomly distributed to a classroom. Take an extra minute to hold the door for someone. Smile, if you find an opportunity. Buy a homeless person a coffee. Get them a blanket or some socks.
Have you ever seen Scrooged with Bill Murray? That ending is exactly the right advice*.
In my heart, there is a right and a wrong. Yet, it is not beyond me to understand my right may not always be right, or right for every situation. The same goes for being “wrong”. My wrong may not always be wrong. The world is complex, frustrating, hard, and sometimes plain off its rocker (earth axis joke). It is also beautiful, wonderful, not always so complex, and off its rocker for a scientifically sound reason (two in one paragraph. Take that Neil deGrasse Tyson).
Everyday is another opportunity for a small, subtle, seemingly negligible impact. It is not so negligible, though. It has greater impact than you believe. That’s your ego getting in the way. It’s not about you. You do not get to choose the impact someone else feels. So, do it.
In writing this there is hope your “right thing” is a good thing. Is my dad right or wrong about what he said? It feels good to hear and think it is. I believe what is being done is best for my daugther. In the end, I will be able to look her in the eye and tell her that. So… there is that.
Be good. Be kind. Focus on the one person in front of you. You can make a difference for them.
A Vegan Father… Understanding he may not be right. And that sssssuuuuuccccckkkkkkssssss. No one ever said growth would be easy.
Posted. Not Perfect.
*A Christmas Miracle – Scrooged (10/10) Movie CLIP (1988) HD – YouTube
A Better Father 