There are many things that never made sense to me as a person when it came to kids. In a previous life I was a restaurant waiter and then manager. It was common to hear kids yell and scream. Then you would hear people complain about it. “Why take your kids out if you can’t control them?” “Can’t they find a way to shut that kid up?” “They are disturbing everyone else’s night out.” On and on.
I have a tendency to believe things that make sense to me. So, I never understood why people got mad at kids. Because, children are our future, right? Being a kid means, yelling, screaming, playing, throwing things. General destruction and mayhem. The future electrician, waiter, cab driver, inventor, starts as a yelling screaming kid.
This was always par for the course of being alive in any society and it always made me smile. In large part, because it was making other people upset. It never made sense to me.
Now, as a parent, this philosophy has carried over with me. Only, it’s my daily struggle. It’s me dealing with the social pressure of how to deal with a yelling kid. It’s not as easy to smile or laugh it off, when others are judging you. But it should be. It’s the social pressure that makes it more difficult. That’s a writing for another time.
Writing on walls, that’s the focus here. Like a screaming kid, it’s going to happen. Period. A child, will at some point, write on a wall. Why? Because they are a kid and they will do it. A child with access to a crayon, pencil, pen, marker, berries, will use that tool to turn your house into a cave painting. Later studied by future generations to better understand how we lived.
Now, it’s known that knowledge is power. When we educate ourselves, we better understand something. When we better understand something, we can deal with it in a proper manor. This is science.
Yet, I’ve seen, heard, and dealt with many a parent getting upset, or punishing their child for writing on the walls. Like the child knows not to do this. As if the child were wanting to get yelled at, or punished. It falls on the parent to act better in this situation, because you’ve had your entire life to plan for this.
It’s not going to be a surprise, at least it shouldn’t. You talk with the child, you teach them where to color and not color. And then, when they color on the wall again. You teach them again. And again. And again. You’ve had a lot of time to be aware they were going to write on the wall. There is nothing you can ever be better or more prepared for in your life. A child will write on a wall. Now. What are you going to do about it?
Yelling at kids is harmful. No question about that. A post will follow, with links, later for that topic. For now, we all know this at the gut level. We all get to a breaking point. We all feel the frustration. But yelling isn’t teaching.
In case, for some reason, you weren’t aware, your child will write on the wall. Now, you know. Now, you can be mentally prepared for it. When it happens, take a deep breath. Get down to the child’s level (never stand above) and start teaching.
A Better Father 