967 – Give Your Child Constructive Feedback Not Praise
This is exactly what an employer should do for an employee. If a manger wants to help an employee improve, build confidence and get better at their job, then they need to provide constructive feedback.
When a child shows you their art, praising them does nothing. Maybe a quick high, but it hangs there, then leaves. It’s empty, it’s hollow and it ultimately is a path to no where.
It is a assumed we want out kids to learn, and grow and improve. It is assumed we want what’s best for our child(ren). Somewhere along the line the idea of baseless, general praise was learned to be a good thing.
It’s not. It’s just not. It might seem scary at first. It might even feel cruel or weird, or unnatural to show your child where they did something “right” or well or “good” and what they could improve on.
Like anything worth doing it takes time and practice to get it right. Maybe that’s where praise comes in. It feels good. Requires no effort. And the parent / adult can feel they did “their job”. In reality it’s minimal effort and carries no weight.
Ask the child what they were trying to accomplish. Ask what they wanted from their art. Then provide the constructive feedback on how the eyes look great, where the arms are not the same length.
Really look at the *thing they did* and truly see it. See their effort. See their focus. Take an genuine interest in what they were trying to accomplish. Ask they questions about it. Ask specific questions. Constructive feedback isn’t a bad thing. It’s a growth thing. It’s an acknowledgment and investment thing.
Do not get discouraged if this takes time. It will be new for your and new for your child.
A Better Father 