980 – Offer your child your coat (or hoodie)
My daughter insisted she didn’t need a coat. I disagreed and put on a zip up hoodie. Then, double checked to make sure she wouldn’t need something more than the shirt she was wearing. She insisted there was no need for anything more.
Shortly after this exchange, away from her coat, she said she was cold. I smiled. The gut reaction was to say, “I told you so” in some way. Pick your poison on which words could have been used to demean her, “teach her a lesson” or let her know she was wrong and I was right.
Instead, I paused… waited. Then asked, “would you like my hoodie?” To which she responded enthusiastically “yes!”. That was all that needed to happen. She knew everything that happened before. She knew there could have been an “I told you so” of varying degrees (I assume). Instead she received kindness. And a hoodie.
As for me? I was chilly. Yet, there now exists a few great pictures of my daughter looking cute in my hoodie. And an opportunity to show (teach) my daughter a nonjudgmental kindness. Worth it.
Next time you child is cold, no matter the reason, offer your child your coat, or hoodie, as the case may be.
A Better Father 