985 – Show your child the joy of the simple things. The necessary things, which are, the simple things.
“A dress presented to you as a gift by the king may be beautiful, but your own simple dress is better. Different meals from the tables of the rich may be good, but a loaf of simple bread from your own table always tastes much better.” Muslih-Ud-Din Saadi
It seems more important now than ever. Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s and 90’s we weren’t exposed to the daily rich lives of others. There were always the “rich kids” or that one wealthy family, but we didn’t see their minute by minute daily lives.
Today kids are exposed to that. Today they see what they believe is the truth of the lives they don’t have. For me going to Disneyland wasn’t an option. All that meant was we went to Cedar Point instead. That was it. There were commercials and pictures, but not a reality that someone’s life was less because they couldn’t afford to go Disneyland. Now, there is stigma, whether it is internal or external, because kids see what they are not a part of differently (even if what we are seeing isn’t the truth).
What can you have vs what you need. When my daughter was born there was an opportunity to step back, re-access and determine what really mattered (this was a struggle and something that can be talked about later). Ultimately, it was decided , without even knowing it at the time, to go with simple. Simple food. Simple pleasures. What became to be understood was what really mattered was time.
If you are doing the parenting thing well, and you ask your child if they want an iPad or your time, they should answer your time. Time is the most scarce resource on the planet. It’s also the one with no pre-determined end point. Could be today. Could be 45 years from now. Would my daughter appreciate being left 20 million dollars when I die, heck even 1 million? Or, if the parenting focus was structured differently during this time, more appreciate she wasn’t left a million dollars because instead she was given time?
Time is simple but finite. Provide them the simple things in life. They’ll make their own way.
A Better Father 