Life. Parenting. Dating. Marriage. None of this will can be done “right”. That is okay. There is no “right”. The problem is, we are told there is. Movies, parents, books, stories, friends, family, other people’s lives seen on social media, Facebook, etc. Our brain gets jealous. Envious of the lives we do not have. Instead of living the lives we do. Knowing not to compare and only being able to compare is a foundational cluster-blank of our lives.
Awareness is key. Humility is an answer. Repetition is essential. Reminding ourselves of what is real, important, in front of us and in our control. Our lives will never look like a filtered picture. We see those and want that joy. Not the joy of what we have. Everyone. Everyone looks at someone else and wonders about that. If only for a second. A better car, a better marriage, a better ex (😊), a better significant other, a better job, on and on. It sneaks in when we lose focus of what we do have.
This will never go away. There will always be moments of weakness, doubt, lose, sadness, loneliness, the list goes on. In those moments, our brains seek comfort. It will seek wants, to mask, to cover, to hide, to reach, to explain why we suck. Why we lost. Why we are losing. Why we do not have. Why we are not like *blank*.
Stop. Pause. Be in that moment. Give your mind time to revel in being broken. Then ask, “What does this help?” The answer is nothing. Except maybe, justifying being sad, broken, miserable, etc. Then, get up. Look around. Find something, anything to focus on. Have nothing? Create something. Your breath. Your life. Your brain (as much as it sometimes feels like it hates you). A friend? Reach out. A pencil? Write. A camera? Take a photo.
In that moment, you got it right. In that moment, you broke free of the cycle. If you did it once, you can do it again. And again. And again. It is not that there is no “right”. It is that right is subjective. We will never achieve “right” as it is being sold. Let those images and ideals go. Define your own right. Define your life. Define your joy. It is not on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. That is your mind seeking. Missing what is right….
A Vegan Father… finding right in a child’s voice saying “Dad”.
Posted. Not Perfect.
A Better Father 