The past year has been an exploration of purpose, understanding and growth. From that came the conclusion our brains are shite. Complex. Amazing. Not fully understood… shite. This is not the brain’s fault.
The human brain evolved to protect us. It taught us fear. To be weary. To find danger around every corner. It taught us to be skeptical. Those that ventured outside the cave were brave explores. Those that stayed inside the cave did not get eaten.
While our brains are complex, amazing, biological mysteries, its purpose is basic. Keep us alive and protected. Unfortunately, in the modern world, basic can be manipulated. Manipulated to benefit others for personal gain. Thousands of years ago our brains evolved to a world it could not predict nor prepare for.
An understandable attitude would be feeling defeated at how easily we (our brains) are manipulated. What power does an individual have against billions of dollars and multi-international corporations using Ivy League graduates to get us to click “like” or scroll another minute? We are helpless bags of mush. Controlled by a brain that wants to be stimulated, liked, and most importantly feel safe.
Once this revelation came to be understood, the resolution to the problem became possible. The resolution: Instead of letting company “x” manipulate our brains for gain, we manipulate our brains for gain. This can be done without turning to artificial stimulation (drugs, alcohol, porn, sadness, etc). The solution: physical reminders of how shite our brains are.
First, admit our brains are shite. At least in the context of the modern world. They do not serve us well. They can though. Like many things worth doing, it takes time and effort. Hence, the reading, the podcasts, conversations, writing etc.
Second, decide what your desired outcome/result is, not for the long-term. Today. Right now. With life, job, love, whatever.
For example, “I don’t want to buy things I don’t need”. “I don’t want to get upset at my daugther for being a kid and making kid mistakes”. “I don’t want to be angry.” “I want to be a good citizen.” “I want to be kind to others.” Pick your desired outcome or focus.
Third, pick a prompt. A good one from Marcus Aurelius , “Is this essential?” It has worked in multiple ways, on multiple occasions over the past few of weeks. The tricky part? How to make sure our chosen prompt is accessible and available when needed. If it is not there to draw upon when needed, then it is too late, mush brain loses to marketing, advertising, sadness, pick your poison.
I recently wrote about quotes and not liking them. They can be “good”, inspirational, fun, entertaining, whatever. Ultimately, they are a dopamine hit that does nothing more than give a dopamine hit. There are too many. They come and go like the morning dew.
That is why it is important for less. Find something that helps you focus. One that will be there when you need it. Something you can tattoo on your body. A note to tape on your credit card, so you see it every time you pull it out to use it. A popup reminder on your phone that says, “Is this essential?” every half hour.
The modern world can work for us. We can use tools they created to manipulate us to manipulate ourselves. We also must use their words. Which can suck. No one wants to think they are being controlled. That they are doing something outside of the choice they are making. That is for you to come to terms with. Realize it. Admit it. Get over it. Then use their words. Power comes from running, denying, ignoring. When we do those things, our brains lose. We may not want to admit it, but we must.
Recently, I wrote about making an impulse purchase for a Disney Princess Castle set for my daugther. After giving myself a few minutes to think it over, it was cancelled. When something from Amazon gets ordered, pick the longest shipping time. Impulse purchases are made from price drops, sadness, stimulation, being tired, on and on. With a buffer in place (One it feels like a small role in not making Amazon workers pee in bags. Two, it creates less of an impact on travel, shipping, gas, etc. Anything I order gets sent the following Friday, typically, all together. Third…) there is room to rethink the purchase being made. Time to cancel if something is deemed to be non-essential.
All this to control our brains. Companies put a lot of work getting us to impulse buy. To see ourselves feeling better, being sexier, finding love, being fit with little to no effort, the list goes on. The fix is relatively simple. For me, “Is This Essential?” has been a good prompt to reasonable outcomes. Just make sure you have it where you need it. If not, you give yourself room to cancel or return it, when you get it home and realize, this is not essential.
A Vegan Father… learning what is essential.
Posted. Not Perfect.
A Better Father 