Titles

Titles are given for various reasons.  Titles are bestowed on some for one reason or another.  As we grow, we are provided the titles for those in our lives.  Those titles have definitions.  Those titles have purpose.  Those titles become engrained.  They form the foundations for how people are perceived in our lives. The titles help shape who we interact with and how we interact with them.

What gets missed, is that titles are completely made up.  Like many things we are taught or told in this world, those titles are replaceable, or easily dismissed.  We need to learn it is okay to let some things go.  Instead of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, because of a title. 

Mom.  Dad.  Father.  Mother.  Grandmother.  Grandma.  Grandfather.  Grandpa.  Aunt.  Uncle.  Priest.  Clerk.  Police Officer.  Mailman.  Mailwoman.  Mail person. Teacher.  Principle

Titles carry a certain amount of weight and expectation with them.  Yet, what we are told and the reality behind those titles is completely subjective.  They have weight because we are told to give them weight.  Therefore, they are given weight.

Regardless of the title someone is given it is ultimately people wearing those titles. People are flawed.  We are told to not keep “bad” people in our lives.  That if someone is doing us harm, we should cut them loose.  Yet, if that someone has a title in our lives, then we are told not to do that.  That we cannot let someone go because they are “family”.

Yet, family can be bad, messed up, broken, harmful and toxic.  Just like that “bad” friend from high school. Sometimes, we  need to get away from them before they drag us down.

This is not something easily learned.  It goes against what we are taught from birth.  How much pain and misery could be averted if we learned sooner, it was okay to break ties?  This is not about running away at the first sign of a problem, a bump, or a disagreement.  This is not about neglecting the work relationships take.  This is not about a fight at a holiday, or from a relationship that is not approved of. 

This is about toxicity.  About identifying something that is not productive or helpful in our lives.  This is about learning, that sometimes, you need to cut ties.  This is about teaching and providing permission to cut ties if the toxic in your life happens to have a title.

A Vegan Father… evaluating what is working and what is not working in is life.  Learning, it is okay to say goodbye.

Posted.  Not Perfect.