The other day The Daily Dad podcast was about how small our children are. How they are learning to navigate the world. That adults need to provide grace and patience as they stumble, trip, fall, or break something.
It was not long ago my daughter felt my frustration at her “not paying attention”. For knocking stuff over and spilling things. “Pay attention. Have spatial awareness of yourself and the things around you.” Not long after these moments of frustrations my daugther made a comment, after slipping and falling, that she is clumsy (I have no way of knowing of what happens at her mom’s house, or what is said there, but this felt like a direct response to what I had been saying about awareness).
Queue heartbreak. The beginnings of understanding that something was not handled well. Then, The Daily Dad’s podcast. Queue the understanding. Queue the apology. Followed by a talk of the proper way to handle situations. A talk about how her body is growing and changing. Teaching her it is normal for her to stumble and fall and slip. And that is okay. I was wrong.
The lesson is to pause. What is causing this reaction? Lack of knowledge. Lack of understanding. Lack of patience. It can be learned with a Google search what happens in a 7-year-old body progressing to 8. How their balance can be off as they grow. In those moments, a child was made to internalize feeling clumsy. Something she has zero control over (I tear up as this is being written).
My reaction taught her to react first. “Why am I so clumsy?” There is no going back and changing what was said. However, in the present: “I was wrong. You are not slipping and falling because of a comment about spatial awareness. You are growing. Your body is changing and adjusting. You may slip a little every day as you change. Those stumbles are positive. They show you are growing and changing. I apologize my lack of knowledge made you feel you were clumsy”.
Better. Not Perfect.
A Vegan Father… doing more today to better tomorrow.
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