Ok… And?

It is hard to put our phones down, ignore them, and not look at them.  This is not a technology rant.  Just stating.  Yesterday, driving my daughter to school, the phone was left at home.  She talked and talked.  Because of the phone not being in the car and distracting me?  Because she had a lot to say (while not seeing dad distracted)?  Would she have seen it and figured it wasn’t worth talking?  Cannot really say. 

What can be said is it was an amazing drive to school.  One of those drives where you learn a lot about this person you helped make. Because, as much as we like to pretend our child(ren) come first, how often are we staring at a screen?  This is not a rant about that either.

This is about the drive back, after dropping her off.  No iPhone.  No Marco Polo.  No Podcast.  No looking anything up (if one were to ever do that while driving.  Which, one would not).  Just driving and thoughts in the head. 

Which lead to a thought about something to do with the ex. No remembrance of what it was.  But there is an estimated 98% chance it was not a great thought, memory, or remembrance.  What did come from it was building on the philosophy to go with “What if…”. (You may have guessed it from the title.)

As the thought came in unwanted, the next thought was, “Ok… And?” (I really like ellipses).  That is it.  She did “x”, said “x”, acted “x”.  Have the thought.  Take the thought, then “Ok… And?” it.  That let the thought go.  Which is why the thought cannot be recalled.  It was let go. 

Maybe it was a thought about the time she said I was a bad parent. Ok… And?  That is it.  She is not the person that question should be presented to.  She is not the authority on that.  That is what she thinks.  It means nothing.  It is gone.

It was a freeing feeling.  It started to rule the day.  My boss doesn’t like me, “Ok… And?”.  Start looking for a new job (which I am).  Avoid her when you can.  Talk to people in the office who do like you and see your worth.  On and on.

So, if you have a moment where someone says something negative to you, treats you poorly, you remember something from an ex, on and on, just say, “Ok… And?”  See if that helps your brain let it go and move on. 

The other benefit is it can help you pause to resolve an issue or question.  It is a prompt for your mind to not focus on the negative but to come to resolution.  “X” happened at work.  Ok… And?  Well, I can talk with the person the issue happened with.  I can avoid the person.  I can ask if anyone else is having a problem.  I can. I can. I can. Our brains need something to get us out of a spiral.  This is mine.  It is yours now to, if you like.

Posted. Not Perfect.

A Vegan Father… who had a better day.