The thought behind the title is subjective at best. What do we ever truly know? The concept of right is based on whatever we believe to think is correct. Which is based on the information we have at the time. Which could and should be ever changing.
What I believe to be true today is we need to eat healthy (plant-based, minimum amounts of sugar, fruits and vegetables), we need the recommended amounts of sleep for our age. We should screen less, play more. The details of those are based on information correlated in my head from various readings, podcasts, documentaries, and what science currently recommends.
The most important thing as a parent, from what people have said, is protecting your child. That seems to somehow filter into meaning predators, bullies, bad accidents. In short, physical harms. It does not seem to relate to mental and physical health.
Which seems backwards to me. We can teach our children to run from danger. Report after the fact if someone does or tries something “bad”. How to deal with a bully or wear protective gear when riding a bike. For the most part, those are meant to minimize things out of their (our?) control. It is meant to add a sense of security, or we “tried” to protect our children.
Much of that is out of our control. We are not around our children 24/7. We cannot know the evils inside people we thought we could trust. Our sphere of control extends about 1 foot around ourselves at any given time.
The things we can control are brushed off as “a kid will be a kid”, “or, it’s okay, they’re just a kid”, “don’t overreact”, “they’ll be fine”, “calm down.” Poor diets, lack of sleep, just talking with them. We struggle to have “the sex talk”. We wait to long to address the things that will affect them from the day they are born until the day they die.
Our lack of knowledge. Our insecurities. Our awkwardness. Our struggles. They keep us from doing what could help them throughout their lives.
Go to school. Play sports. Do extra circulars. Go to college. Get degrees. Do quarterly trainings. Write reports. Look over last year’s results. A widget, daily sales goals, and weekly results are treated as the difference between life and death.
How often to we review the previous year’s successes and failures of raising our children? How often do we set daily goals of what we want them to accomplish? What we want to accomplish with them? How often do we sit down and review the previous week with them, or their other parent?
Do we have quarterly training to learn the latest information about raising an “x” year old? Do we sit and have meetings with the other caregivers in our child’s life to review how things are going? Do we align our values and create a consistent message for them? Are they included in the choices that affect them? Are they talked to and told the reason or purpose for a choice?
More importantly, do we do that before we have child. My daughter’s current situation does not allow me to do what I believe to be right for her. It is more important than ever to be better. Take a breath. Breathe. Think. Do not react. Pause. Filter. Focus. Now. Talk.
I cannot always do what is best for my daugther. I can try my best when I am with my daugther.
Posted. Not Perfect.
A Vegan Father… not always right, but trying to teach what is right.
A Better Father 