It was not far. The instinct to drive was overridden by a desire to walk. The wind was not too cold. Cold enough it was nice it is a short walk. The destination? A coffee shop. Until yesterday I had never been. Today is day two of venturing into the wild. Stilling in a corner alone. A father and son sitting inside. The mother took the daughter outside to play. A lady on the other side of the building sits alone reading a book. It is quiet and calm. A machine humming gently waiting to serve some sort of drink.
It has been just over a year since I started wearing glasses. It was weird at first. 44 years never having need for them. The choice was overwhelming a year ago at Target. So many to choose from. Hundreds displayed on the small wall. We once thought choice was good. Turns out, the brain does not like choices.
The weight of them was felt on my face walking here. It took awhile to get use to them. Taking them on and off haphazardly. Trying to learn when to take them off or keep them on. It was new. It has become a habit. Now, they are forgotten. Only removed when noticed doing something that does not require them. Often forgetting to put them on, until my brain realizes it is harder to read the words than it should be.
When it was needed, it was an easier habit to form. It was frustrating “losing” them from time to time. Then, I learned strategic places to leave them when taking them off. Walking instead of driving became an option, because morning walks became a nice way to start the day. A choice was introduced, overriding an instinct to “just drive”.
The option to come into a coffee shop, instead of “staying at home”, happened when the seal was broken. Another choice made that changed the environment, the view, and inspired this writing. A writing that would not have happened, had the choice to start writing not been made a few months ago.
You never know what tomorrow will bring. You cannot change what happened yesterday. All you have is today and the moment you are in. Yet, choices made months ago; to read Atomic Habits, The Lives of the Stoics, and many more, influenced today. The choice to make a To-Do List, to write more, to take morning walks, and more. Little changes and adjustments to getting rid of old routines and start new ones. Different ways to fill time. Differing ways to be feel better about time spent.
Those changes and choices led to this moment. We are not always able to understand the long-term impact of our choices, or changes as they are happening. It is important from time to time take a moment to reflect on why you are doing what you are doing. What caused a reaction. Why you are doing what you are doing. Understanding a particular response to a particular stimulus.
We will die unfinished. It does not mean we have to die unfulfilled.
Posted. Not Perfect.
A Vegan Father… incomplete, but building.
A Better Father 