Sometimes when writing I’ll catch a phrase coming out like, “everyone knows to eat healthy”, “we all know we should be taking at least a 20 minute walk every day”, or “we all know it’s good to journal, we just don’t do it”. Plenty of others. Fill in the blank.
I try to catch those moments, because the fact is there is so much, we do not know. Facts and figures everywhere. Things that are utterly meaningless to us until they are not. For example, a mother who knows nothing about cancer, then had a child who gets cancer. Suddenly, she knows all there is to know. Maybe starts a non-profit. Maybe does charity events to raise money. She can talk with the Doctor like a graduate with a degree in medicine with a focus on cancer.
The point is, we often do not know a thing until life makes us know a thing. Even the example above is not fair. There are plenty of parents that might be working their butts off to keep up with the medical bills to keep their child alive. They do not have time to learn the ins and outs of cancer and start a non-profit.
*This is written after being posted. I posted this, then kept thinking about it and wanted to add something. There are more than the two above options or reactions to a situation. Maybe, the parent becomes overwhelmed. Maybe, they curl up into a ball and can’t face what is happening. There is no way to address all the possible reactions or the reasons for a reaction. Which is the point. You will be coming with your issues, backstory and reactions. As will the next person and the next. We can’t know all the things. We can be wise enough to monitor our reaction to all the things. Then catching ourselves when we don’t catch ourselves. It’s all very complex.*
One minute you think you have this parenting thing under control. Then, a curve ball. Your child says or does something that throws you off. Now, what? How do we handle this one?
Today is not about coming to an answer or a conclusion to these issues or questions. Today is about taking a pause. To catch yourself before moving forward with a judgement. Think about how you are wording something. Not your words, but how your words may be heard. This goes for how you talk about or think about others. It also pertains to how you talk or think about yourself.
It is not an excuse to get away with not doing better. In fact, it will probably have the opposite effect. It might help you see an opportunity to help someone in need or ask for help yourself.
So, catch yourself, before you speak or think. A five second pause could be all you need.
Posted. Not Perfect.
A Vegan Father, navigating a non-vegan world.
A Better Father 