Interconnected

From Work: A Deep History, From the Stone Age to the Age of Robots by James Suzman

“Neurological reorganization and development continue into early adulthood and into our dotage even if as we age the process tends to be driven more by decline rather than growth or regeneration.  Ironically our species extraordinary plasticity when young and the extent to which it declines as we get older also accounts for why as we age we become more stubbornly resistant to change; why habits acquired when we are young are so hard to break when we are old; why we tend to imagine that our cultural beliefs and values are a reflection of our fundamental natures; and why when others’ beliefs and values clash with our won, we slander them as unnatural or inhuman.” (p.83)

The first seven years of my daughter’s life were amazing on one end and… not good on another.  This continues.  It is also why the events of every first day with my daughter inspired yesterday’s post.  There is a voice saying horrible things to me that are no longer said directly to me but linger and sometimes make it hard to sleep.

One thing that has always bugged me about having a daughter during a divorce, and becoming a parent, is the cliche ignorance people “share”.  Where the “new” parent is made out to be overly “whatever” as we are supposed to bend to the stupid coming from people’s mouths.  With a child in a divorce, it’s the conflicting two thoughts shared depending on how people are trying to comfort or scold. One: children are resilient, and they will get through this.  Two: Children are fragile and need to be treated as if a divorce will break them and negatively impact the rest of their life.  So, thanks?

Adam Grant talked similarly to the quote above from Work.  We behave as if what we do with and how we treat our children from birth does not matter.  That is pure ignorance.  If we feed them poorly, they struggle to counter that the rest of their lives.  The habits we set fourth, exemplify, showcase, and display for our children matters.

What we do not get correct now creates gaps in what they must navigate later. There are going to be misses, unknowns, mistakes, our own gaps, limitations, and ignorance creating gaps for them later.  So, why ignorantly push through in something we know is not good for them now.  Sugary, unhealthy, brain hurting foods are known to be bad.  To purposefully (again, situational) feed them poorly creates issues for them now and later.  Again, ignorance.  That is where the frustration from yesterday was born.

To know certain things be true, then to read it the next day, helps bring understanding to the choices we make for, or in some cases,  force on our children.  I have referenced Kevin Smith before.  He had a heart attack after a lifetime of unhealthy choices.  He literally ate himself to death.  He chose  meat, sugar, dairy, fast food, etc. over life.  He is only here today because a doctor brought him back from the dead.  (Sidenote, he lost a bunch of weight and went vegan.  He learned the hard way meat, sugar, dairy, fast food, etc. kill you.)

In one paragraph James touched on parenting, religion, choices, food, eating, health, TV, screens, love, life, relationships, kindness, empathy, more.  The structure of us began forming before we came out.  Something I do not think we fully realize. We fail to give proper weight and attention.

Posted. Not Perfect.

A Vegan Father, navigating a non-vegan world