Yesterday’s Daily Dad Podcast (The Daily Dad – Every Dad Needs a Little Help) was about finding the time to get done what we want to get done. There was time I would have blamed the person for not using their time better. It is the American Way, Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. If you are not getting it done, then it is your fault.
We blame instead of build. We wonder why they do not get it. We wonder why they are not willing to work harder, do more, try more, be better. “I did it. They can do it.”
We point to examples of those that dropped out of college. Those that grew up hard. Those the found the will and the way. We turn entire lives into soundbites and 30 second commercials. They inspire us to push beyond our current situation. They tell us, “look you can do ‘x’”.
They are harmful. They are bad. They are dangerous. They need to stop.
99.9% of us do not take or have the time to learn the whole story. 99.9% of the time the whole story is not being told. We act as if this person did it all on their own. We act as if that soundbite, or commercial tells the tale. When we reduce lives to 30 seconds, we all fail in comparison.
Stop listening. It is better to deep dive into one person and learn their true story, than to get 30 seconds of inspiration from multiple people.
In yesterday’s Daily Dad he told the story of Susan Straight who wrote a book sitting on a curb after she walked her baby to sleep. She became a best-selling author with that book. That is an amazing story. It is that punch of 30 seconds (or less). Yet, there is a backstory, an entire life lived up to walking her baby and figuring out to write on a curb.
It is an inspiring story. It is motivating to find the time, to steal a moment to do what you want to accomplish. Yet, we miss the part of who was paying the bills? Why wasn’t she having to work at night instead of writing? Why did she even want to write? What were the sacrifices to create that opportunity? What made her believe in herself enough to do that? Who gave her permission, and allowed that permission?
Even as those words are written it feels like the magic is being taken away. Do not ruin a great story with details. I get it. There are quotes and soundbites all around me. Other people’s words written down to inspire me. A pervious life where those quotes lifted me up and helped me be a better manager.
Those are still part of who I am. Yet, with a learned understanding to take them for what they are. To understand the privilege behind the stories, the sacrifices, or the support, or sacrifices of others. If you genuinely want to be inspired learn the story behind the 30 second commercial. Do not be fooled into thinking a person just showed up one day. Understand they wrote 100,000 words to get one 12-word quote “worth sharing”.
The magic is not in the 30 seconds, the magic is in the life lived that got to the 30 seconds.
Posted. Not Perfect.
A Vegan-Father, navigating a non-vegan world.
A Better Father 