I posted the most recent podcast today at 11am. It was recorded at around 8am. It went well. There is one lingering thing that almost caused it to come down and be re-recorded. The thing I want to improve most, the way I talk about being a parent and raising a child.
It felt off when talking about bedtimes and how it has worked for me. There’s a defensiveness that has become ingrained when trying to share information, or talk about raising a child.
In the podcast today, it seems like the way I was talking was attacking or judging the way others do bedtime. It didn’t come off as what worked for me as a tip or trick. It felt like an attack on those that don’t do it the way I’ve done it. I immediately felt badly. I immediately wanted to change it.
Instead, it’s becoming a blog post, that will most likely be talked about during next week’s podcast. It’s honestly not meant as a judgement. It’s personal insecurities that keep me from talking with authority and confidence. the words being spoken come off as harsh and not assured.
It references most of the disagreements and arguments that have happened with my daughter’s mother. It’s been six years of not talking, but feeling talked down too. Being treated poorly and second guessed. It’s a fear of saying something without being yelled at. It’s something the podcast and blog are working towards helping.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes and I will continue to make mistakes. I think there is a lot of value in my parenting, my views, my thoughts and methods.
I apologize that what was suppose to be said came off poorly, or badly. If they even did. I’m working to be a better father, but a better parent, a better educator, a better person. It makes me sad becoming a better husband doesn’t get to get listed, but it is what it is. The others are more than enough for me right now.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for reading. Thank you for coming into my space and allowing me to share.
A Better Father 